It happened very quickly, over Tuesday into Wednesday. Raoul started having problems walking, problems breathing, and was discharging a white, milky liquid from his eyes. As of Tuesday night he was still his perky self, with some discomfort. He had an appetite, enjoying a small feast of yogurt, dog food, and Gatorade. Wednesday morning he was very sleepy, and wasn't interested in drinking anything, though did have some more dog food. Then I came to work and over the course of the day wrote this:

Raoul is almost 2 years old. He's getting to be an old man. His fur looks less and less colorful, and he is balding more then ever. Kind of like me in that respect! He has lost a little weight, sleeps more, and is now having trouble walking. Last night we also noticed a whitish liquid that was discharging from his eyes.

It's not all doom and gloom though. He still has his appetite. Over the course of last evening, night, and this morning he ate a large amount (relative to his size of course) of canned dog food, plus some broccoli and some yogurt. He ate it all happily too, didn't have to shove any into him. Well, not after the first taste anyway. Also he still wants to keep us clean, as even right after a shower we aren't clean enough for him.

I have a list of vets in the Baltimore area that treat exotics, and I'll be calling around to see which of them has the most hamster experience. The problem is, I don't think that there is anything they can do for him. He's just old. He'll need more care and attention then before, but that's something I'll gladly give for as long as he is with us.

The rough part at the moment is being stuck at work, thinking about it. Trying to keep it together. Wondering, maybe, should I have stayed home today, called the vets to get him in as soon as possible?

Found one. I don't think the vet will be able to tell us anything we don't already know, but tonight at 7:15 we'll all be there, listening to what he has to say. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

After work when we got home, immediately went in to check on him. His breathing was more labored, with a jerking breath every once in a while. He was also more lethargic, and had no appetite. I held him and cried. I held him for about an hour and then went to change to go to the vets. While I was doing that Tigs held him. He rode on her lap to the vets.

Dr. Hill came in to see us after a bit. He was young, friendly, and seemed confident about his skill with exotics. We discussed Raoul's history while Dr. Hill examined him. Of course, even feeling as sick as he was, Raoul still turned on the charm. We briefly discussed the option of treatment, but knowing that Raoul's health isn't great at the best of times, and having gone through months of treatment to no good effect with Nebula, we knew it was time to say goodbye.

Raoul is going to be missed. He was the most friendly, most loving hamster I have ever known. He was always excited to see us, to hear our voices, to be with us. He would pose for pictures, bat his eyes at the vets, be friendly toward other animals, even those who didn't share in his feeling of friendship. He gladly wore whatever costume we would put on him, was thrilled to be held in any position, and was SUPER EXCITED any time we brought him outside.

The worst thing of all is saying good bye before you are ready, even when they are. He wouldn't want us to be sad, and he would have suffered anything for us, for me especially, to keep us from being sad. So please don't be sad for his passing. Rather, lets remember what a special hamster he was. Lets remember how much he loved life, loved us, and would want us to be happy. Keep him in your heart, and smile when you think of him.

He was the best hamster, and he will be missed.